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Yoga and Persistently Moronic Muscle Memory

4/18/2012

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I've been doing various athletic-type stuff for a long time now. My sense of  proprioception is pretty clear after high school and recreational wrestling, track, basketball, rugby, racquetball, cycling, trail running, martial arts and yoga. Why is it then I walk out of every yoga class feeling like a complete dork? It's not that I don't get it; I do. I just can't seem to get my body to the point of cooperation. It's frustrating to the point of becoming demoralizing. Add in that I discovered that not everybody moves with pain regardless of exercise level, and the result is a why-bother attitude arising from the depths. 

So I run - and my body hurts (especially when I go *boom* onto the rocks). I do yoga and and my body not only hurts, it doesn't do what I will it to do. In the past, I could probably have nailed the poses Angela is putting us through. Now? Ha. I can barely accomplish 10% of the whole. Getting older sucks. Getting older while trying to maintain one's past image of one's self not only sucks, it fails miserably in the process.

Somebody remind me why we (and by that I obviously mean me) do this? The running, cycling, yoga, etc? To feel better? It hurts. To look better naked? Sorry, nobody wants to see that; lights off, thank you very much. Social aspects? Not so much. I run alone and I don't talk during yoga – it might draw attention to my flailing, failing and flopping.

It's Wednesday, and my mental memory is as bad as my muscle memory. I'm sure I'll be somewhere on a trail over the weekend working in some painful miles between Mikaela's soccer games. If you happen to see me, remember that "smile" is really a grimace of pain.
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