Although I live virtually on the edge Tahoe National Forest, animal encounters are usually conform to bears and raccoons in the garbage, deer eating the shrubbery and mice in the garage. on rare occasions, one might get a glimpse of a coyote or fox while driving down into the town, or even more special, a bobcat.
In the last 12 hours, I had two animal encounters that didn't qualify for the above list. Allow me to elaborate.
I was on a run last evening on a narrow trail traversing a rather steep hill. Getting off the trail was a giant step up to the left. To the right it was a small step and long-ass roll down the hill. Basically, it was a one way passage. I'm making good progress when I come across a snake on the trail (not on a plane, thankfully). No reaction time, so I make the leap over, thinking I'm safe.
Not to be outdone, Señor Snake (I am assuming it was male), leaps along with me, and with a guidance system effective enough to make a Harpoon missile envious, the thing latches onto my left shoe.
In a manner befitting my age and gender, I calmly assessed the situation. Well... maybe not. If I recall correctly, I screamed like a little girl and danced to the best of my old white man ability (overbite optional), shaking my groove thing to detach that bastard. He finally let go, and with the benefit of an overdose of adrenaline, I finished my run at sub 4-minute mile pace.
I certainly was happy to be back in the warm embraces of civilization, where we can hide from the nasties of the wild. I comforted myself with the gentle company of domesticated pets, family and food. Then I went to bed.
Morning arrives. Espresso espressing, dawn dawning, wife showering. All calm. For a short while.
As my perfect cup of espresso is finishing, I hear a blood-curdling scream. "STEVE! GET UP HERE! THERE IS SOMETHING IN THE SHOWER!"
Again, befitting my age and gender, I calmly assessed the situation, blew gently over my cup, impressed with the coffee surf it created. "IT'S JUST A BUG, RELAX!" I shouted back.
"IT'S NOT A BUG! GET UP HERE!"
Sighing as only a husband with an over-reactive wife can, I trudged up the stairs. Lo and behold, there was my wife, starkers and pointing at the shower. I reluctantly tore my appreciative gaze from her shower-wet body to look into the still running shower.
HOLY MOTHER OF ARACHNIDS! That's a freakin' scorpion! And I am not talking an 80's band from Germany!
In the last 12 hours, I had two animal encounters that didn't qualify for the above list. Allow me to elaborate.
I was on a run last evening on a narrow trail traversing a rather steep hill. Getting off the trail was a giant step up to the left. To the right it was a small step and long-ass roll down the hill. Basically, it was a one way passage. I'm making good progress when I come across a snake on the trail (not on a plane, thankfully). No reaction time, so I make the leap over, thinking I'm safe.
Not to be outdone, Señor Snake (I am assuming it was male), leaps along with me, and with a guidance system effective enough to make a Harpoon missile envious, the thing latches onto my left shoe.
In a manner befitting my age and gender, I calmly assessed the situation. Well... maybe not. If I recall correctly, I screamed like a little girl and danced to the best of my old white man ability (overbite optional), shaking my groove thing to detach that bastard. He finally let go, and with the benefit of an overdose of adrenaline, I finished my run at sub 4-minute mile pace.
I certainly was happy to be back in the warm embraces of civilization, where we can hide from the nasties of the wild. I comforted myself with the gentle company of domesticated pets, family and food. Then I went to bed.
Morning arrives. Espresso espressing, dawn dawning, wife showering. All calm. For a short while.
As my perfect cup of espresso is finishing, I hear a blood-curdling scream. "STEVE! GET UP HERE! THERE IS SOMETHING IN THE SHOWER!"
Again, befitting my age and gender, I calmly assessed the situation, blew gently over my cup, impressed with the coffee surf it created. "IT'S JUST A BUG, RELAX!" I shouted back.
"IT'S NOT A BUG! GET UP HERE!"
Sighing as only a husband with an over-reactive wife can, I trudged up the stairs. Lo and behold, there was my wife, starkers and pointing at the shower. I reluctantly tore my appreciative gaze from her shower-wet body to look into the still running shower.
HOLY MOTHER OF ARACHNIDS! That's a freakin' scorpion! And I am not talking an 80's band from Germany!
Yep, there he is to the left (yes, again I am attributing it to be a male. Though it voluntarily showered, not a trait normally associated with males). He was just under two inches long, and pissed off. I coaxed him into a Jar of Death®, to be taken to my daughter's elementary school for an extended death watch under the scrutiny of thirty 5th graders and one freaked out teacher.
There you have it. Two wildly implausible animal encounters. OK, maybe I enhanced one a tad. You get to decide which is entirely factual and one is an ever so slight embellishment on a real encounter.
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