Slang's Anti-Singularity
  • Slanghome
  • Slangblog
  • Slangpuzzles
    • CurrentPuzzles
    • ScholarPuzzle
    • PastPuzzles

Two-person comparison

12/14/2011

0 Comments

 
This week, I am in the (not) lovely midwest - eastern Kansas to be exact. The weather is milder than typical for this time of year, but the color is spot on: gray. Gray clouds, gray trees, gray people... OK, so the people aren't all gray, they are mostly wearing bright blue and red. Must be something to do with the local university (Rock Chalk!).
Last night I met a guy in a local tavern, and we got to talking as two might over a malted beverage or two. He, like me, wasn't from here, and as the saying goes, it's sometimes easier to talk to a bartender than your doctor. I wasn't the bartender, but I was there.
In ruminating over the convo while tossing and turning (& not sleeping, but that's a different story) in the hotel room later in the night, I compared him to another person I know. The comparison is interesting. We'll call the first person Doug, and the second person Gail. Their names are irrelevant (I'd go with Obediah and Ophelia, but those are more difficult to type), and I don't think gender plays a roll in the comparison, they just happen to be on opposite side of the chromosomal fence. Please note that all the comparators are my observations and opinions, and may bear no resemblance to reality other than superficial.
Both are close enough in age to make no difference. 
One was raised in a reasonably strict household with both parents, dinner on the table at 6, everyone there. The other came from a family where the person was almost the primary care giver in the house from an early age. 
One worked early in life and didn't have extended education opportunities. The other went to college.
One has a "respectable" job/career. The other, less so. Both appear to feel trapped by work/life  in some way (like who doesn't).
Both have kids - roughly the same age.
Both enjoy athletic activities.
One is more adept at "arty" stuff, the other, less so.
Here's where it gets interesting. While talking with Doug, I got the impression he wants to "expand his horizons" but has a fear of failure and embarrassment. He only wants to appear to be good at whatever it is he does. Doing something badly - especially in public - was petrifying to him. So much so, that he admitted he has stopped trying. So he is frozen: stuck where he doesn't want to be, and unable (unwilling?) to do what might break the inertia.
I compared his state (as I saw and understood it) to Gail's. Gail also wants to break free, but appears to me to be accepting  the occasional failure, and doesn't appear to suffer from acute embarrassment. She tries something, it doesn't work out, she tries it again, and again. Nobody thinks anything less of her for trying. At least I don't. As for laughter, she's often the first to laugh, especially at herself.
Gail has tried and become successful later in life at several things that typically one wouldn't think a person would pick up after youth. Whereas, it appears Doug has moved pretty much laterally for many years, coasting on the successes of his own youth, and unwilling (or unable) to expand and move forward. This combination made me think that the fear of failure - the fear of embarrassment - is possibly self realizing. If you fear it, it will happen.  The person who fears embarrassment will most definitely feel it. The one who fears failure, will fail. If you try something new, you are not going to enter at the top. You not going to hit a home run on the first and every swing. If that's failure, then you will fail - repeatedly. Maybe Doug needs to step back and remember what it was like to be a kid trying something new, fumbling, failing and ultimately gaining ability and confidence. And laughing at himself along the way. 
Oh, any guesses as to who was who in the comparisons? I wonder if it's obvious or even has any bearing. Perhaps we are pre-programmed moist robots simply carrying out our instruction sets, following the course, regardless of where it goes.

0 Comments



Leave a Reply.

    RSS Feed

    Author

    Just a guy out exploring the world. Former world-class never-was endurance runner.

    ​Hit me up, and we'll catch a beer or coffee in your town.


    Follow @slang4201

    Archives

    August 2022
    July 2022
    June 2022
    May 2022
    April 2022
    March 2022
    February 2022
    January 2022
    December 2021
    November 2021
    October 2021
    September 2021
    August 2021
    May 2021
    October 2020
    September 2020
    December 2019
    November 2019
    October 2019
    July 2019
    October 2018
    September 2018
    May 2018
    April 2018
    November 2017
    October 2017
    July 2017
    June 2017
    June 2015
    August 2014
    January 2014
    October 2013
    September 2013
    June 2013
    May 2013
    April 2013
    March 2013
    February 2013
    January 2013
    December 2012
    November 2012
    October 2012
    September 2012
    August 2012
    July 2012
    June 2012
    May 2012
    April 2012
    March 2012
    February 2012
    January 2012
    December 2011
    November 2011
    October 2011
    August 2011
    March 2011
    October 2010
    July 2010
    January 2009
    December 2008
    October 2008

    Categories

    All
    2011
    Alfama
    Alternate Energy
    Android
    Angela Sullivan
    Animals
    Antiques
    Apple
    Ash Canyon
    Astronomy
    AT&T
    Australia 2022
    Bailout
    Battery
    Bicycling
    Biometrics
    Books
    Brisbane
    Cairns
    Canary Islands
    Carrier Iq
    Carson City
    Cascais
    Centennial
    C Hill
    C-Hill
    Christmas
    Climate
    Clothing
    Coding
    Colorado
    Columbus
    Cramps
    Curiosity
    Dad
    Dardanelles Lake
    Dell
    Dick's Lake
    Dilbert
    Diving
    Eagle Lake
    Earworms
    Eating Problems
    Eclipse
    Economy
    Ecuador
    Education
    Eldorado Canyon
    El Valle
    Energy
    Errors
    Espionage
    Europe 2019
    Evi
    Fallon
    Family
    Fontanillis Lake
    Food
    Gamboa
    Garmin
    Geocaching
    Goals
    Google
    Google Earth
    Grouse Lake
    Hiking
    Inov8
    Investing
    Ipad
    Iphone
    Iron Mountain
    Lanzarote
    Legislatures
    Lisbon
    Mac
    Market
    Market Drop
    Mars
    Mctarnahan
    Medicine
    Microsoft Word
    Motivation
    Mountain Biking
    Moving Minutes
    Music
    Nevada Day
    Nfc
    Ohio
    Olympics
    Openoffice
    Opportunity
    Panama 2018
    Panama 2022
    Paper Airplane
    People
    Playa Coronado
    Politics
    Portugal
    Prison Hill
    Privacy
    Puts
    Puzzles
    Quito
    Race
    Rant
    Reno
    Retrospective
    Roosevelt
    Running
    Running Dynamics
    Saddest Cities
    Safe & Sober
    Science
    Scuba
    Shoes
    Shopping
    Sicily
    Sierra
    Sierra Canyon
    Sintra
    Slangsploration
    Snl
    Soccer
    Software
    Spasms
    Spirit
    Sullivan Canyon
    Svn
    Tahoe
    Tahoe Rim Trail
    Taormina
    Taxes
    Technology
    Transit
    Travel
    Trees
    Vba
    Velma Lakes
    Venus
    Verizon
    Violin
    Watches
    Weather
    Wolframalpha
    Words
    Wrestling
    Writing
    Xkcd
    Yawbe
    Yoga

This is ALL MINE, I tell you! copyright 2010-2022