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Impactos Rapidos

1/25/2022

4 Comments

 
A couple of quick hits that don't warrant a full post on their own, but deserving of some bits and electrons anyway. The first one was triggered a bit by a woman I saw in the grocery store today (where I picked up my staples of veggies, coconut water and bread). She was getting more and more frustrated trying to explain IN LOUD AND SLOW ENGLISH to the employee what she wanted. At no time did she attempt even shitty Spanish. It was apparent to me that she had put absolutely no effort at all to learn even a modicum of the native language.

Now, I'm no polyglot, but I fucking try. I have a translator app on my phone that works regardless of signal, so, if worse comes to worst, I can tap out a message and the magic of technology can read it to someone. Did this gormless excuse for a traveler have anything other than SLOW AND LOUD English? Nope. I walked away.

That made me think of some humorously bad Spanish from English phrases, that could, barely, be conceivably uttered. I will plead the 5th if anyone asks if I have done so, without it expressly being for humor.

Good Spanish: hasta luego which means "Until later"
Bad English: hasta lechuga, or hasta la culo. The first means "until lettuce" and the second...I'll leave you to discover.

Good English: I believe in miracles
Bad Spanish: Creo en miercoles, or "I believe in Wednesday." 

Yeah, that ain't gonna fly.

I got charged by a dog yesterday morning while running. He (I assume a he) was in a bush on the side of the road and I was about 2 feet in. As I passed I saw him, and slowed a bit, and he charged out. I did a spin move that would make Barry Sanders or Walter Payton proud, and swatted at him with a backfist. He was going for my calf, but missed, because I'm so damn smooth. At least I think so. That's my story and I'm sticking to it.

He ran off across the road and through a gate into a multi-million dollar property. If it was in the States, I'd have called him back to bite me so I could sue, but here? Nah. However, the adrenaline from the encounter gave me a boost for the rest of the run to set a PR on the route. So there's that.

I had a brief moment of...I won't say homesickness but maybe nostalgianess. For a time last night I was really wondering WTF I was doing here -- where I really can't communicate well, I really don't know anyone, and low grade feeling of loneliness is a heartbeat away. Then, I realized, I have a nice place to live, the weather is beautiful, I can talk to my kids pretty much at any time. Fortuitously, the man-cub called while shopping in Costco. (OK, that triggered some memories of rotisserie chicken and huge bags of tortilla chips, but I digress.) We chatted about the book Lifespan and it's author and foods associated with the book and podcast. I felt better. Of course, a NFLX Seinfeld session helped too.

I went to sleep still a bit stressed, but when I woke, and went for a run culminating in a sea swim, I realized it wouldn't be any better for me in the States than it is here, and here is cheaper, there is a beach 200 feet away and a bus ride to the largest shopping mall in Central America is $6. 

The only thing missing is companionship, and that's been missing for five years anyway. Maybe I'll head to Picasso, get a beer and see if either John will show up for a nice chat. It's likely I'll get to pet Dingo or Lucy, and a damn certainty I'll have a beer or two in the tropical warmth and read my book.

Viviendo la vida Panama. Viviendo la vida buena.
4 Comments
Shannon Hataway
1/27/2022 02:10:20 pm

Nice work evading el perro enojado! Luchador del perro! That could have been bad. The clueless tourist story is hilarious. I find it interesting that I never encounter Spanish speakers speaking loud and slow as if that will make it more understandable.
Good job on talking sense back into yourself—bask in your permanent vacation!

Reply
Slang
1/28/2022 03:22:43 am

The reification of la americana fea...

Reply
Meb
1/27/2022 08:13:12 pm

People speak to me in English loud and slowly and I don’t understand them half the time. Why? Because I am a bona fide heterosapien ‘Merican.

Reply
Chris
2/2/2022 09:27:49 am

I salute you. It is a life I dream of but not the one I could have. Loneliness and depression are mostly brought about by lack of purpose IMO. The more you stay in one place, the more you will develop friendships and purpose, be that volunteering or just being a friend. Life is lonely in a foreign land, but like you said, you could be in the States and be lonely as well. The loneliness mom felt intensified when she could no longer drive or volunteer.

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