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A marathon? Who, me?

10/18/2021

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As a final act of running here in the good ol’ US of A, I signed up for a trail marathon in Ft. Collins, CO. This was at the suggestion of my nephew, who is (was?! 😈) quite the accomplished distance runner. In remarkably uncharacteristic manner, I trained diligently – if by train, I mean drink more beer in the three weeks leading up to the race than I had in the previous six months, and ran…little.

Before leaving Carson City, my training had waned due to smoke and ennui, and, despite a lack of smoke, the lack of motivation persisted. I suppose driving many hours a day (when not spending days drinking beer, of course) didn’t help either.

Leading up to race day, I hadn’t run even twenty miles but once in (I’m guessing) about three and a half years and even that was two years ago. I think I’d pretty well blocked out the sufferfest this death trudge was going to be, as did Nick. The night before the race was a comedy of trying to determine gear, logistics, nutrition, hydration, WHILE DRINKING BEER.

Mind, I knew I’d finish. It’s in my stubborn, relentless nature. What was less determined was how long it was going to take and just how shitty it was going to be. Back when I was semi-legitimately training (in August), I gave myself six goals. First are the standard three for every “race”:

1. Have fun. First and foremost, always.
2. Stay vertical.
3. No blood.

The next two are time-related:
4. Reasonable finish: 6:00
5. Stretch finish: 5:30

The last was an arrogance goal:
6. Beat Nick.

Granted he hadn’t been in the groove for while, but he was a Leadville 100 and UTMB finisher and had done some distance pacing this summer. Oh, and I’ve got 20+ years on him. Yeah, total arrogance goal.

Race day was beautiful. Crisp 30° start and a cloudless sky. Nick and I did the slow trot/power walk for the first 10K. I stopped for equipment change and he was gone. Fair. I had no idea of my time. I purposely wasn’t looking. My only change of plan was going to be to push with what I had the last 10K.
Picture
Surprisingly, I felt really good when I pulled into the aid station where I thought to maybe push. I’d had minimal cramp-twinges and was managing those, for me, really well. The trail for the most part was compacted dirt, with the exception of a four mile loop that was off-camber, difficult-to-navigate, layered rock. Great for fossils, less so for an old man’s body. I’m pretty sure this stretch was the culprit for my later IT band issues.
Picture
I pull into the aid station, call out my number, and who do I see just leaving? Nick.

“C’mon old man, get moving!” He laughed and turned up the trail.
“Fuck off, Nick!”

The aid station vols were initially taken aback, but they saw I was laughing and, being aid station vols near the end of a long-ass race, completely understood. I snarfed down some food and drink, grabbed a couple of VFuel gels (look at me dropping brand names like I’m somebody!), fist-bumped all the vols, and I took off like a snail on a trail.

I caught Nick after about ten minutes, and we hiked up the hills and jogged together for a while. Feeling frisky, I said I was going for it. That’s when the knee pain that was lurking in the background came to the fore. Stabbing pain. Swell, my IT band had finally given up. Somehow, I managed to run most of those last miles with gritted teeth. My epithets were colorful to say the least. The beer and food at the end made it all better. Except for my IT band. That’ll take awhile.
Goals?

  1. ✅
  2. ✅
  3. ✅
  4. ✅😱
  5. ❌
  6. ✅
Nick developed some gastro issues, so he didn’t catch back up. But, being probably more stubborn and relentless than I am, he, of course, finished.
Picture
Yeah, about goal #5: finish in 5:30. My finish time was 5:31:39. Maybe if I hadn’t stopped to pet dogs I’d have reached it. But then, I wouldn’t have gotten to pet dogs, and petting dogs in the middle of a “race” is who I am.
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    Just a guy out exploring the world. Former world-class never-was endurance runner.

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